09/08-15/08

This week equals a success and I feel completely proud of myself to be saying that sentence.

As I relax now with a well earned beer (or two), I find myself looking back on the week. The lows, the highs, the successes, the failures, it really did all happen. But I battled with myself when it came to food and I made sure that I got a good workout session in (whatever I decided it would be). And two out of three ain't bad, as Meatloaf would say or for me six out of seven ain't bad! The only day I "took off" was Thursday, or yesterday I should say, as I just felt downright terrible after minimal sleep. At one point, I honestly thought I'd pass out from exhaustion. But I powered through, took two Pro-Plus (which I hate to do) and pulled it out of the bag. Now I never recommend taking caffeine in pill form, but yesterday it was necessary and quickly did the trick. I'd say within half an hour I was powering through job applications and continuing on with my Thursday.

Eating healthy and cleaner, and simply working out, doing whatever I chose is what has made my week a success. In my own eyes anyhow. The workouts where beginner and nothing too strenuous was achieved, as in I wasn't flipping tyres or throwing sandbags, which is what I always think about when I think of "proper people" who work out. I ran, I lifted weights, I toyed around with kettle-bells (easily my new favourite piece of gym equipment). Nothing was ever boring, though at times it was hard and I think that's where balance comes into the equation. You need to enjoy what you're doing, but it needs to feel challenging enough to see improvements and changes. These improvements and changes are what make you want to continue and to power through. They are evidence of your hard work and proof of the strength you put into each session. So hopefully 4 to 6 weeks time and I'll see some kind of improvements.

I'm not weighing myself at the moment,a deliberate decision that I have made. It will do no good and so I am going to leave it alone...for now anyways. My goal weight I feel is always 9 and a half stone, with a 25/26 inch waist. Those are the figures I always have in my mind, because I know when I get down to that weight all the opportunities I'll have. Opportunities like wearing shorts and not minding, just the little things like that that make life that little bit easier.

And that's where I leave it for today. Hopefully next week will be just as successful.

xoChloexo

Please Don't Let Me Be Ill....Again

So as I type I am in fact a little under the weather. I made a big batch of Chilli last night, and ate a bowl with rice and topped in with cheese. And then I had a late night snack around 10 pm of 3 biscuits and a small glass of milk. Ever since then I have felt off. I feel nauseous, with a fever and a bad stomach.

Those three words pretty much sum it up - nauseous, fever, bad stomach.

I seriously hope I am feeling better tomorrow morning for my shift at work.

At the moment I am feeling so tired and ill, but it's just not going away! And I want to return to the gym and begin eating better soon.

I've got to say I can't wait for the first of December to arrive. Last night we watched a Christmas movie I hadn't actually seen called 'Jack Frost', anyone else heard of it. It has Michael Keaton in...sounding familiar. Well I watched it and it was good but it wasn't amazing I'll be honest and I am someone who loves their Christmas films. I am after all these years starting to build up my collection. It started last year when I purchased most of my favourites and I think it's only right that I expand the collection this year also.

Over the years what Christmas means to me has definitely changed. As expected it's no longer receiving the gifts that's the most exciting, but for me it's the build up. The playing of Christmas films and songs and eating delicious food, or drinking your way through a bottle of Bailey's. All these things become appropriate and I take full advantage of that fact.

Can't wait to tick the boxes next to my Crimbo songs on Itunes! How lame is that?

I am now on countdown....16 days, well 15 and a half really since I am writing this post at half past six!

Anybody else already getting excited about Christmas?

xoThanks for Readingxo

Snacking, Snacking, Cereal and Oh, more Snacking...

That has literally been my diet of the past few days. I just don't seem to want big meals or meal-type meals at all. If that makes any sense?

It's 18:51 on a Saturday night and I am exhausted.

It's not like I can't stay a wake at all like last week, but I am very unmotivated and just feeling damn right groggy. Yes, I think that about sums it up. I took a nap earlier but I am already ready for my next or my bed.

Bare with me I think I have a point I am coming to...

Oh yes. So over the past few days I have become a serial snacker. All I want is snacks. Fruit, Crisps and small bowls of Cereal. The idea of eating a big meal just makes me feel nauseous and at the moment I am just going with it. Eating what I am craving and letting it be.

I think forcing it will just make myself bad. Just like last night. I had a baked potato and tuna with salad but afterwards I just felt so sick and haven't felt right since. So I shall continue to just go with it. Still trying to get my fruits and veggies in but just not trying to force food down, which lately I have had the weird habit of trying to do.

Which is crazy right?

Hopefully it subsides soon, but if not I will just have to stock up on all my snacking faves and so be it.

Well, that's me. Hopefully tomorrow I will get a chance to blog down my goals!

Maybe I could do with remembering this also! Just for good measure etc.


(Source)

This one too probably?


(Source)

Anybody else being fuzzy/funny with their eating habits lately?

Is it the change in weather? Does your diet change dramatically during the colder months?

xoThanks for Readingxo

FMM #21

Questions and Answers

Thanks to Kenlie for Hosting :-D

1.  What is a typical weekday like for you?  

At the moment I have to make up my own schedule, which for me isn't all that good. I am someone who likes a schedule and who likes to make plans. So, I am definitely both looking forward to my new Uni schedule when I go back in a few weeks. But a typical at Uni schedule for me is; go to mandatory classes, make appointments with lecturers, run errands and spend time with friends whilst managing my homework!

In a way I can't wait for next year, when I become an official adult thrust into the world of work, but on the other hand it is all happening so quick and I just know that I'll soon be graduating *scary thoughts*.

2.  Name one song that never fails to make you happy and one song that you always listen to when you’re sad.

Hmm... I seem to always smile when 'Bruises' by Train comes on. I love that song. And a song that I listen to when I am sad... strangely enough growing up it was either 'Eminem' or my favourite songs from 'Musicals'. I realise that that's a strange mixture.

3.  Did you watch the VMA’s last night? 

No, but I usually catch award shows like that on repeat or catch up, because some bits never fail to make me cringe, especially the presenters.

4.  Share at least two that you possess. 

I'm quite a good cook when I put the effort in! I just get lazy when it comes down to it, but I do hope to start "properly" cooking again and sharing the recipes and my attempts on this blog.

And a second one...I like to think I am good at sport. I have always been competitive and competed regularly at school.

5.  Share one thing that you wish you had the confidence to do.

Start a YouTube channel. I have really been considering this as another creative outlet lately! 

6. Tell us about one insecurity that people might be surprised that you have. 

Well... I am really insecure about talking in front of a group of people. Mainly because in my head I think they are judging me and laughing at me, but that's mainly my 'social anxiety' issues!

7.  If you could be the CEO of any company, which one would you choose to lead?

It would probably have to be either a publishing company, a magazine or a fashion company. Wow that took me no time to answer!

8. List at least three hobbies that make you happy.

*Running + Walking.

*Reading.

*Cooking/Baking.

9.  Is there someone in your life that you wish you could say “I love you” to?  

Yes :-D

10.  Share one cool thing that happened over the weekend. 

I spent some time hanging out and meeting new people, and nowadays I feel like that's something I can do that's actually very cool. Because a year ago that probably wouldn't have happened.

xo Thanks for Reading xo

July Round-Up and August Goals

July

In General

As the end of the seventh month wraps up, I couldn't be gladder to wave goodbye to July. It has been a long month and a lot has happened don't get me wrong but I wouldn't want to repeat this month if somebody paid me. No Joke. Looking back on the month through various things such as; the blog, my personal diary, and my calendar that I keep on my bedroom wall. It is clear to see that a lot has happened. I got a car and I am so grateful that my mom was able to help me sort all of that out. She really is a lifesaver and there to help me when I need her. So I am grateful for her. 

Exercise

Exercise started off well this month, but soon turned to crap and pretty quickly. I only worked out half of the days - not good enough (for me). Half way through, I am unsure whether it was because I wasn't taking adequate breaks between workouts or what, but my energy has been at an all time low and my legs have been feeling like lead. I googled it (as I do with everything) and it suggested I wasn't replenishing myself properly, something to do with electrolytes. So I need to come up with ways to keep me going for longer. I don't know it is definitely something I want to work on next month. I started strength training again this month, so maybe that's also what did it?! But one of the biggest differences I have noticed is that when I don't exercise now I feel "jiggly" and "less tightened", and I had been previously enjoying that tight feel that comes from working out consistently. Something I definitely want to get back next month.

Oh another thing I haven't mentioned is my Polar Watch has not been working properly in over a week, really hoping I don't have to shed out money for a new one! I've only had it 18 months. Does anybody know whether this is the average life of a Polar Watch? Let me know.

Diet and Eats

On this front things haven't been that great if I am completely honest with myself, and my weigh-ins reflect this. The bottom line is I have spent the month avoiding my responsibilities, end of. And in every sense of the word too. August is a month I am going to hold myself responsible and get going. It will be my month of productivity. 

Ok back to rambling about July, instead of August.

I think it was possibly coming back from Paris, it through me a little. But bad things have started finding their way back into my diet. Just junk like; Crisps, Takeout, Chocolate, Biscuits etc. And too much of it! So I think I need a month just to banish them almost completely. Maybe saving room for treats but that's all they should be, occasional not everyday.

Work and Uni Work

Didn't get much done of either. It's not that I am too lazy to get a job, but I thought we were going on holiday and every place I was applying for wanted people to cover their regulars who were on holiday and so that wasn't to work out! But I also didn't get that much Uni work done either. I made a start but so much more could have been done.

For those wondering, the stickers are the days I worked out.

August

1. Limit the following; Bread, Pasta, Rice, Cheese, Sweets, Chocolate, Biscuits, Sweets, Crisps.
2. Do something Exercise-Wise (No matter how little) - Atleast Every other day.
3. Get Productive.
4. Get a Job.
5. Work on Dissertation.
6. Re-read Books for Dissertation.
7. Research into Jobs after Uni.
8. Look into Races.
9. Run Outside.
10. Socialise more!
11. Practice Driving more in my Car.

Errmm... I think that is it. But like always things will get added and adjusted.

But overall I am just glad to be starting another month.

Could It Get Any Worse?

In answer to my blog title question, no, I don't think they could get any worse.

Sorry in advance for the rambling.

All week I was getting "a bad feeling", so to speak about taking the trip down to Woolacoombe, Devon. For those who don't know, me, my mom, my sister and my brother were going down to a family wedding and we were meant to me staying the week in a caravan. Now I am one of those people who "feels" things (sorry I am not sorry). I have always been the same, even when I was little I would get vibes from people. Meaning that I would either like that person and give them hugs etc, or not like that person and try to stay away from them. And thinking about it I still do that to day, but obviously in a more mature way.

First of all I know within a matter of minutes if I like someone, as I said I get my vibes and it's the same with every aspect of my life. It's rooted deep in my personality I guess. I have mild OCD. I have anxiety. And all these many different things together form the way I live if you will. Because I always say if you aren't feeling it I am not doing it or I make it so I am wary of it. It's just the way I am.

Now for the story. That I must point out couldn't have been made up, and a story that not many could believe.

It started in my car on the M5 at 15:15, and ended at 03:30 am on our drive at home in a courtesy car.

Intrigued? Well I shall try and continue without sobbing.

No word of a lie the bad luck just kept coming. Like I have already said it all started at quarter past three on a busy Saturday M5 motorway. A light came on the dashboard and we wasn't sure what it was. So I type it into google (as you do), and it turns out it is some kind of electrical fault! My heart dropped and my mom who was driving at the time said that it felt like there was no power behind the accelerator (gas), which is never good.

We were literately half a mile from the junction we needed to exit the M5 at, and we managed to get the car there. But the car still wasn't letting us accelerate beyond 30 mph. But after sitting with the engine cut for 15 minutes and restarting it, the light went off on the dash and it felt like things had gone back to normal. Boy were we wrong!

Fifteen more minutes down the line and we were now flying again, everything felt fine but we were still wary.

I would like to just add that:
1.) I am so glad and thankful that this didn't happen in the car when I was by myself.
2.)I am really glad that I took out the RAC cover with my insurance.
3.)This all started when the rain came (so a big two fingers up to shitty british weather, definitetly a sign that I should leave this country after Uni). I am a warm weather person through and through!

Then it completely cut us dead again. Luckily, and I know I only remember the bad luck yesterday but there was good luck and as my mom keeps reminding me 'things could have been worse'. And this is completely true. We are all alive (a little sleep deprived), but healthy and kicking.

And for this I am completely thankful!

Long story (and believe me it was a 12 hour story for us) short, my car is now sitting in a Weston Tow Truck Yard. (Yes I have had the car 8 days and it had to be towed!) The car now doesn't start. The lovely man called Tony at the RAC couldn't fix it, it's something computerised, electrical and to do with the throttle. So I have about 300 to 400 pounds worth of repairs to get done when the car gets back! Just what I needed. They said that they would usually have just taken us back up home, but there was only one guy on last night (just our luck) and so he couldn't. But like me and my mom said, we should have insisted they take us back! The drive back home was dark, wet, scary and strenuous, mostly for my mom who drove us back. I was her navigator and her eyes, since it was terrible out last night. Little did we know, because we had no internet and no phones, that there was actually an amber warning last night and people were advised not to drive.

So, once again I am thankful that we are all back safe!

But we plan to head down back to Devon tomorrow. Yesterday we were against it, just because of the hassle. But it would be like throwing hundreds of pounds down the drain. On the other hand I don't know if I will even be able to enjoy the holiday now. I can't afford to (literally). I just want to get my car back and to get it fixed as soon as possible.

I can definitely see some sleepless nights ahead until it gets fixed. Who knows now how the week will pan out. But my emotions are all over the place and I am completely spent.

And this is why I prefer to fly, and I prefer to holiday abroad. It is always more reliable and as long as you have the right insurance, nothing should be worried about. With £300 it's scary to think of what I could get. I know yesterday was nobody's fault and that's just the way the world of cars works. But I just want to see my car on my drive and running the way it should be.

Ehh. Writing this I have felt like I was re-living it. I feel spent!

My Poor Baby :-(

Leave me comments telling me your worse car stories! Whether it has happened to you, or you've been in the car when it has happened, or maybe it's just happened to people you know?!

Dreaming of That First Run

Outside that is.

Rewind back to...

The other day as I was running on my treadmill, and I suddenly felt great. I am talking 'I could keep this up all night' kind-of-great. Obviously, that didn't happen and at mile 6.1 after 70+ minutes on the treadmill I called it a night.

Does anybody else experience that? Sometimes you can go further and faster in the evening, and sometimes it happens in the morning.

It's strange.

My usual energised running time is mid-morning, but lately I just haven't been waking up feeling great. It doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get.

Anyways, getting back on track. I have always said that I would love to one day run a marathon, if not marathons. By nature I am a very competitive person, especially with myself. I like to beat my own times, my own reps, etc etc. It makes me feel strong, and that's the feeling I strive for at the end of every workout. No matter the time, as long as what I set out to do gets done I am happy.

It was like that in yesterdays workout. From the beginning I had struggled mentally to engage at the task in hand. I wasn't focused and I wanted nothing more to stop and go lie down. But by pushing through and getting everything done I felt stronger than ever, and that's the kind of thing I feel I would have to overcome to run a marathon runner.

Growing up I excelled at fast bursting sports, and when I did my GCSE qualification in P.E I couldn't wait for the fartlek training and athletics (sprinting and throwing). But I have never been one for endurance. Simply because I find it difficult to go at a lower pace for longer. I would rather sprint really fast for a short burst instead. It's not just about the physical preparation I would need to do, but rather the mental fatigue I would have to endure. The repetition that comes with long distances. The momentum I would need to keep up. And the list could go on, but you get the picture!

But lately I have made a real go at running. I realise in order to call myself a "real runner" that I need to hop off the treadmill and start pounding the pavement instead. I know that no-one has a good run, but unless I have a running buddy I become paranoid and anxious when I am out even walking on my own sometimes. Sure, It is getting better but I need to just get out there, and do it. Because I know I will never regret the decision to run or run outside, it's just taking that first step forward and preparing myself to leap off the edge.

I'll keep you updated on whether I am close to hitting the pavement or not. But at the moment I am not sure how long the luxury of the treadmill will last, so I guess we will see on that front!

Fingers Crossed it is soon though :-D

A Nightmare Of A Day

Today, has seemed to go on forever. My day started when I woke up at 04:55. And yes you definitely read that right. This morning I was awake from five to five and couldn't get back to sleep, one because I couldn't breathe and two because I knew I had too much to do in the day ahead, and had too much energy to go back to sleep.

Like I said in the title, it has been a nightmare of a day, and one I could do without repeating any time soon. (I think my mom would definitely agree with me on this one, wouldn't you mom?) She was a godsend today and basically sorted out my car insurance when I was having a meltdown. There's no point in going into it on here, but the point is I am drained both mentally and physically.

So, today hasn't been a day to pig out but earlier driving back I was having some trouble calming down, and so my mom told me to pull over at the KFC so we could get some food and we could calm down. I don't mind eating KFC every now and again. It isn't a monthly thing and it definitely isn't a weekly thing. But then and there it was just what I need. I hadn't eaten in five hours and was quite shaky. With everything happening I couldn't even think about food.

But recently I have become a firm believer in, 'One Bad Meal Shouldn't Affect The Next'. Because one bad meal shouldn't affect the next meal, right? And that has been helpful for me to remember over the past few months. One decision shouldn't affect the rest, and you'll be glad to know it didn't. It didn't affect the rest of the food decisions I made after that meal, and although calorific I know it will balance out eventually. It's not like I am making it a permanent meal fixture or anything.


Source

I had pinned this age ago, but it took me ages to find it!


Source

I am also not calling anything I change to my eating plan a diet. I am not a fan of the term "on a diet" anyways, but lately it has been throwing me off my game.

Anyways, it is getting late and I am fried, completely fizzled out. It's half past 11 and I feel as though I should have been in bed hours ago.

Night, Night :-D


How's everyone else sleeping lately?
I am fine until I wake up to go to the toilet and then realise I am not breathing properly through my nose. It's really annoying!

Anybody else been waking up earlier?