But lately I have a need, a burning desire if you will. And that burning desire is to be healthy again. We've all had that feeling, and I am sure it differs from person to person. For me it comes at the oddest of times. It comes after a hardcore gym session, when I lift more than I did the day before and I smile through the pain. It's that feeling of knowing that to outsiders you may just look like your working out, but to you, you are breaking down barriers you didn't think were possible. It comes after carrying my groceries from the far end of town to my house (a twenty five minute journey, with jars and bottles in either hand). Like I said it isn't always obvious when that feeling will occur!
At the moment, however, those moments are few and far between and that upsets me. I'm 'out of the game' so to speak, and that is exactly how I feel. And I want to make my way back into it. I realise that the only way to get those feelings back is to hit the gym, walk it out and build up my strength and endurance again - things I enjoy doing anyways. I want to do this solely for me and I want to be selfish with my diet and exercise. This includes the way I eat out and meet friends. I don't, however, want to restrict myself but because I really want it, I don't think that will be the case anyways.
I guess I should write a quick sentence or two about what 'being healthy' means to me.
It means finding my balance between food and exercise and I have to admit this is constantly changing. I am a person who goes on feeling and when I feel amazing I like to do those things that make me feel just so. That's a given. For me the food used to be more important than the exercise. But nowadays they tend to go hand in hand.
In the past, I put a lot of pressure on the food aspect of things, and in my juvenile response to lose weight I used to forfeit food altogether. There used to be days I would go completely without food, substituting nutrition with caffeine. I guess looking back I needed the caffeine to replace the energy I was missing from the food. It's simple when you are looking back, it's the looking forwards that's the hardest.
But looking forwards is necessary to progression.
What I now want to get out of food is different. In my battle to find a healthy relationship with food I now want to get benefits from eating the right foods. I am lucky as I crave foods such as fruit and salad. It's weird I know, and people often give me a weird look if I say the words 'I'm craving an apple'. Meals that are balanced have it all; carbs, protein, nutrients etc. And let's face it you know if what you are eating is healthy or not, or if your entire diet is balanced for that matter. And to me when I think of healthy I think as follows. Fruit and veggies become snacks. I exchange my favourite chocolate bars for rich, dark, dark, dark chocolate and I cut down on how many squares I have. I start the day with breakfast, always, even if it is just a small banana and a yoghurt. I don't add sugar to my cereal, and I keep my portions small but enough. At all my meals I go with what I crave. Sometimes that means cereal for dinner, as well as at breakfast. I buy more meat and cut down on my simple carbs. I try to buy wholemeal and wholegrain in bread, rice and pasta. At every meal I try to eat a fruit and vegetable and I don't add so much sauce to my meals (esp. mayo).
It's getting repetitive to write now, but I could literally go on and on.
There are so many things I do.
That's on the food side of things, and that's a subject I could go on and on about. But on the exercise part, that's the thing that is newer to me. Obviously, the main reason for that is because I've always eaten. But exercise and constant exercise happens rarely. I go through fads and this past year has definitely been my best on record. At least I think so. And for me I go through phases of Gym, Workout vids, Walks, Swimming and Yoga. All which I enjoy to do during different phases. But going and getting out there because I want to and nothing else is great, and it's a great feeling to want to do it. Simple, right?
There's factors I have to work on to help make things simpler for myself.
These factors include; anxiety, depression and stomach issues/problems. These are the things I battle daily and may always have to battle daily, so that's why it is important I keep fighting and making everything much simpler.
Well... I think I am done reflecting for one Sunday.
Do you have particular times or days where you reflect more than others?
What's your Idea of healthy eating? (Sum it up in a line)
xoThanks for Readingxo