Where Have I Been?

Well, I can completely confirm (loving the alliteration), that the semester has begun. It began three weeks ago, but first week is just reassuring us, the students, what's going to be happening on each Module. They usually last an hour and we are released. And then we move on to week two, and the realisation of what the semester will be about finally begins to sink in. Then we have the third week, and BAM.

Oh yes, those caps are definitely in order. I will list write now everything that is going through my head, and unusually there are many questions. It's like I have finally woken up and realised this year education will end and then what?!

The many questions floating around my mind...

*What do I want to do?
*When and what should I be applying for?
*Should I be applying for Jobs or Internships or Work Experience?
*Should I try and cram some work experience or an internship into this academic year?
*Do I just apply for retail and basic jobs?
*Do I apply for everything?
*What should my C.V look like?
*What should my cover letter look like?
*Should I apply for part-time jobs this semester (even though I am exceptionally busy!)?

I think you get the point right?

But with realisation brings productivity, which I am thankful for. Sometimes in the past under pressure I freeze up and then have to make rushed decisions towards the end - so it's nice to at least be planning a little ahead and sorting out my options.

Hopefully when it comes to the end of the academic year, I have a plan of what I want to do, my next move in life and where I want to live. That would be lovely. I have always been someone who likes to know where I am going, and that will probably never change! Direction is key to success. With me anyways. I've known this for years, since I began high school really. So, that's what I have been doing in regards to Academia and Work related things. If I am honest all it looks like I've been doing is panicking, but productive panic is always favoured over straight up panic, am I right?

If you've glanced at the right-side bar, you will have noticed that my weight has gone down. It's basically four of the pounds I gained over Summer with two more pounds to go! But it's nice to see them go nevertheless.

But I have also took the step into joining the gym. We looked around the all ladies gym last Friday, and then on Tuesday we had an induction and a mini-stair climber fitness test. It wasn't too bad, but I've been going everyday since Tuesday and it feels great! It's so good to be working out again. I am by no means a gym bunny, but I love the gym. I may not be the most athletic, or the slimmest or the most toned. But I absolutely love the strength I get from going to the gym, and it has also helped me sort out some of my stomach issues - just in the sense of my eating schedule and the certain foods I want to eat after a workout etc. I mean you don't have to be the brightest bulb to know that going to the gym is a positive thing, but in the past my anxiety has stopped me from doing such things and definitely a year ago I wouldn't have been able to do this and for that I am proud.

I joined with my best friend, only for a month as tester. I don't think that she's going to join again when our month runs out, but I am enjoying it and will make my decision in a months time. I just keep thinking of the amount of money, but then I weigh up the benefits and I think they are completely worth it.

Here's some Photographic Catch-Up:

Blueberry and Blackberry Smoothie.

Study Time.

Study Time some more.

Oh and more Study Time.

Tasty Left-Overs.

Home-Made Apple Crumble.

New Faux-Leather Jacket.

Porridge with Blackberries, Almonds and Nutella.

Greek Yoghurt, Almond Flakes, Blackberries and Banana.

Honey and Tea Time.

Anyway, that's me. Let me know what's been going on with you lately. Anything important or worth a mention (no matter how big or how small!)

xoThanks for Readingxo

Friday Feelings, Update, New Goals...

First of all apologies, this post may be a bit of a ramble. You have been warned ha ha!

As you can probably tell by the title, my mind is all over the place at the moment. But I am just trying to deal with every day that comes, which makes making goals a little harder.

My feelings on this very bleak Friday the 13th are as follows; I am tired, my stomach is in pain (should have known better than to eat the pizza!), and I am not in the mood for much. Now this happens to everybody at the some point or other, and we all experience our highs and lows right? This just happens to be a not so good day for me. It happens. I just need to get through it as best as I can and get on with everything I need to. Maybe having an early night? I fell asleep during 'The Expendables' and woke up about 11pm yesterday. But lately I could honestly sleep for half the day and still need more sleep. I have no clue what's going on!

My best day this week was probably Monday, and that's when I involuntarily had to get up early and get stuff done! So, with that, everyday this week I woke up early after eight hours or so of sleep. But it just isn't long enough. Maybe tomorrow I should try a lie-in.

All I know is yesterday felt like a wake-up call, something telling me that I need to get everything together again and sort things out. Or I could be in trouble! So, I made a list dependant on what I need to prioritise in the clean up.

My List:

* Stop drinking Juice and other sugary drinks (they have snuck back in!)

* Limit Crisps and Sweet Treats (not to enjoyed daily - choose healthier options!)

* Smaller Portions (concentrate and stop when the signs of being full begin!)

* Stay Hydrated (mainly drink water!)

* Use walking to clear my head!


So, there we have it my feelings, update and new goals!

xoThanks for Readingxo

Away From Routine

Starting Saturday I will be away from routine, and with that comes a little stress and a lot of anxiety. Most of which I am keeping under control, with the help of some Kalms. But it isn't as if I am relying on them in any way, they are just being taken when needed, especially since I started to drive again last Friday.

I can't believe I have now had my pap pap a week (and I know, still no photo. Soon).

So, as I've said I have been taking Kalms, just as a buffer if you will, something to top up my control on the different situations of Life. I have had phases in the past of using them, but I have never been prescribed anything and always prefer to use Kalms and seek herbal remedies before I do. My doctor was very insistent when I first brought it to her attention that I was suffering from Panic Attacks and Anxiety that she was going to explore other methods before writing out the prescription.

And I am so glad she din't just give me the meds, it wouldn't have solved anything, and I always knew that there was a deeper meaning behind the attacks etc. The "cognitive behaviour therapy" worked for me and it gave me all the tools I needed. I am not saying I won't need to re-visit it at the later stage, maybe even during the next academic year. But I have the tools, and those tools passed on to me by my therapists will be my saving graces these next 8 days or so. We are going Sat to Sat, but I can feel the anxiety building already.


Source

Whilst on Pinterest the other day I found this, which refers to social anxiety. It sounds stupid but so true. I over-think and see everything, and ponder on conversations that have long passed. It used to be so hard but now everything is manageable and I am hoping the next week proves me right :-D



Source

These are the kind of things that I have to remember. All the time. The world will be as it is, the people will act how they want to act. I just need to find a way to respond to it and that's what I have been doing these past six or seven months. I have gone from surviving, to coping, to thriving, and the last one is how I want to be.

Sue and Jane always encouraged me to come up with a plan. A plan that would help lower my anxiety and focus my intentions. By nature I am a very organised, like to be productive person and this fits my character perfectly. Since most of the week I will be winging it, not quite sure if I should be calling it a plan because most of the week will probably be group activities etc. Something that depends on all parties, not just the one person and so compromises will need to be made along the week. So I am coming up with guidelines so to speak to help me throughout the week.

I will probably do a blog about the list, and how I am getting on or had got on because I have a feeling that I will be on limited internet. (insert my sad face here)

I hope that if any of you have friends or family who suffer from social anxiety, anxiety or depression, or maybe if it's you suffering from anxiety yourself that these posts I do about my experience and story are helping you in a way. However little. It's a tough cookie to crack, but trust me everyone can do it. You are capable of overcoming this, trust me.

Until then, hugs and kisses.

Oh and one more to end the post!


Source

Love it :D

Oh and if you have any questions or just want to private message me, you can email me @: chloe4693@gmail.com.