Random Post for a Random Week

This weekend has been random to say the least. I have an essay due today ( and two more the rest of the week) and so my focus and attention has gone on them. But yesterday me and the best friend did manage to bake some cookies. We stuck to our usual go to recipe for two batches and for the other we had an experiment using wholemeal flour and just adding in other self-raising ingredients. The end result left us with all edible cookies, though the wholemeal ones expanded and tasted rather bitter, something to be rectified in the future. Hopefully they are all still edible today, to take to the library with me.

Here are the pics.

Ingredients.

The best friend getting her hands and nails messy.

P.s I was measuring and shaping the cookies this time, we switch and take it in turns.

Cookies in oven with my reflection.

Cookies just come out the oven.

Al is telling me to stop trying to eat them they need at least five minutes. time and patience is something I don't get the concept of quite clearly. We literally had to go into the living room to get away from temptation.


Well our winter has just been wet and cold here in England. But last night in my Uni town in snowed. I woke up this morning quite excited just to find it raining the little bit of snow away. I love snow. It's a part of winter I like and makes me feel cosy despite the plummeting temperatures. Here's a picture of the tiniest bit of snow on the ground outside in the back garden, getting washed away by cr**py rain.

P.S- Sorry about the quality of the photos this is my phone, but I'm saving up for a dslr for my trip to France this summer.

New Beginnings...So to Speak

I arrived back at Uni today, and I've been on my laptop just using the internet for 5 hours. Yes, 5 hours. No joke. Explanation = I've been without internet (other than my phone and that doesn't count) for 3 weeks. And it was so so hard. Although I did manage to finally complete the new J.K Rowling book I brought and began reading back in September. Hmm...still don't know what I thought. The first half of the book can be cut down in my mediocre, rookie writer opinion  (I'm studying for a degree in English Lit and Creative Writing. I'm in my second year.) I didn't really get into it until the second half of the book because the momentum was practically non-existent and there was too much explanation of characters and why they were as they were. A bit unnecessary in my opinion as reader, though my writers brain was taking over the entire read. Although at the end of the book I was getting choked up and crying about the circumstances that had arisen towards the end. Not sure if I'd read it again. Have you read it? I know I make it sound like not a good read, but each to there own right.

My eating over the holidays was not the best and my exercise was practically non-existent as I felt very lethargic. Maybe it was over-indulgence of food and alcohol and not enough movement. But now I am ready to accept the number on the scale whatever that will be come next Friday  I know next Friday I here you say? Maybe I'm not ready to confront it just yet. I want a week of cleanish eats first. I know, but it's just the way my mind thinks. But one of my goals for this year is to improve this blog, get it out there into the world if you will. But I have tonnes to say on my "goals", "resolutions" for this year. As you see I use these terms lightly, I always find less pressure on myself, for myself. Don't get me wrong I like making resolutions and goals, but because of past experiences of goal and resolution making, I am way more careful and reserved when it comes to the topic. Because if I put my mind to it I know I can achieve anything. All I need is to focus and get into it. Not quitting before I've even started like I've been doing for the past 9 months. Time to focus. I'm doing this for me, and in this new semester I want to achieve in both my academic and "personal" life, especially food and fitness. Though I am starting up driving lessons again. I want to pass and get it over with already.

Now to enjoy my night with some more internet surfing :-)

December...

This is a month I actually had no trouble with last year, but I had severe gastritis so it was painful to eat. I weighed about 9st 4- 9st 7, which is a weight I like very much but one I have trouble maintaining because when I get there it's always a long time coming and somewhat unfamiliar territory. And so I struggle. But I'm on another so called "journey". I hate that word because with our weight it's the thing we are most in control with, and so we 'in a way' get to decide where one "journey" begins and when another ends. But having this control is hard, especially when you lose the control because you become out of control, which is something I don't have enough fingers and toes to count.

Loss of control is the thing that I struggle with, with weight loss, yes but mainly maintenance. I'm generally ok at loosing, even better at gaining, but terrible at maintenance. Ok, so it's realistic to fluctuate and it happens to everyone - whether it's just that time of the month, or it could be the time of the year, like this time where temptation is everywhere. It's called temptation for a reason, and there's always something that I try to remind myself of that I sometimes struggle to follow through on. That is that I have the control. Me. But this fact slips out of the window, especially when it comes to treats.

My weight has fluctuated somewhat over the years; from 11st 3 to 8st 7. Now my weight normally reflects my mental state. If I'm happy my weight is low, if I fall into a slump and become depressed and anxiety riddled my weight goes through the roof. Now I'm aware of this pattern, I'm not trying to turn a blind I to the facts. But it's still a struggle, and sometimes my awareness is that acute it becomes a hazard that doesn't help the situation one little bit.

I know what needs to be done, but lately my grades have been more important than my weight. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing - but there will always be something won't there? If it's not my grades I'll find something else, another excuse. After the holidays my health will once again become a priority, but for now my grades are number one, whilst I am still trying to make balanced choices food wise.

Whew, that feels like a weight off my chest - now let's direct that to my thighs! Ha ha.